Wednesday, December 09, 2009

i didn't want the bread

Last night was the season finale of The Biggest Loser tv show. Liz, one of the contestants and finalists, said that during the first week she told the producers that she wanted to go home because she didn't think she could do it. She didn't think she could handle the grueling 6-8 hours of working out per day that the contestants do in order to drop around 100 pounds or more in 12 weeks. The producers wouldn't let her leave the show. She said that she struggled a lot for the first few weeks but by week 4 she got into her groove and realized that she could do it. She made it to the end of the show. What an amazing and empowering feeling to have that realization that your goal is attainable.

It struck a chord with me, because that is exactly how I feel about this whole Paleo diet and leaning out thing I am doing. I wanted to quit on the second day but I didn't. I had many doubts in the first two weeks. Now I am in week 5 and I feel confident that I can keep up my modified Paleo eating plan indefinitely. I like how I am eating and see no need to go back. I don't even want the cheat meal that Crystal, my nutritionist, told me I should have. I ordered a sandwich without bread yesterday and didn't even miss the bread. Yes seriously, I DIDN'T EVEN WANT THE BREAD.

In just one month I have come a long way. I eat less and am starting to let go of childhood baggage about needing to hoard food when I can get it in case I don't get enough. I will get enough. There is plenty of food and I trust myself to get what I need. I no longer have the low blood sugar light-headed hunger episodes that make me panic in my state of dizziness. True hunger is the stomach rumbling kind and I honor that. Stomach rumbling hunger is not an instant mood emergency that requires me to stop what I am doing to get food. I am no longer a slave to carbs.

I have lost three pounds (putting me at 140 and 5'8") and I feel good. I have energy for my workouts and am running as fast as ever.  In fact, I ran my track repeats at a 6:25/mile pace today which I think is pretty much the fastest my legs have ever gone. I am on the path.